My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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