I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
