It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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