no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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