i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
