honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
