i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
