Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
