i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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