i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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