Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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