dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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