is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
