dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
