Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
