Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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