East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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