i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
