shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
