Tell her she can't have a vagina
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
