Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
