I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
