i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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