Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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