Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
