I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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