new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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