I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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