I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
