Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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