I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
