Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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