A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
NoShamevember. You game?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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