What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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