Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
