Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
