worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
