So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
