He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
