So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Randomize
