I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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