He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
