the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
