Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
