Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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