Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
