I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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