The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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