im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
