my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
