Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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