I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
